Fear

What do you fear?

After the last four months, I do not fear physical pain. I’ve been, apparently, by all medical calculations, there. Burns, they say, are the worst. And mine were bad. I would agree they are most unpleasant. I, for a long time, loved fire. I danced with it. Now I fear fire, it hurt more than I could have ever imagined. It had glanced and pained me before, but not like this. I honestly think, in the realms of physical pain and such….I’ve been there, I’ve done that, I have the scars to prove it.

I no longer fear pain.

Mine, that is. I know pain. I know physical agony. I know hurt of body that begged for death.

I danced with fire and won, when maybe I should have lost. So yes, I fear fire now. But I’ve not sold my equipment…

What I fear is harm to my loved ones…friends, family. I fear their pain. I fear them having, in any way, to feel as I felt. To be harmed like that, to know that kind of agony, physical or otherwise. My pain tolerance if off the charts…not so for others, and that still hurt.

I fear those I care about facing anything even remotely close on a physical or emotional scale.

I fear them facing scars that, inside or out, never stop bleeding.

I fear them facing pain.

I fear them never wanting to dance again.

I don’t want them to know fear.